Connection is a key part of happiness in our lives. But what is it really?? Some of the greatest struggles I see for clients are feeling isolated, alone or disconnected. We live in a world where for many they find their connection through social media and digital devices. We spend so much time on screens today, there is no way this is natural. It may be the new norm, but that doesn’t mean it’s a healthy norm. Our brains did not evolve to spend the amount of time that we do on social media and online.
It can also train us to look to these devices to feel a sense of connection, it creates a ‘seeker’ mindset where we repeat the same seeking cycle over and over again…continually looking outward to foster or create connections. These connections may be superficial but it’s all an attempt to connect to something…anything…so we don’t feel alone.
It can also train us to look to these devices to feel a sense of connection, it creates a ‘seeker’ mindset where we repeat the same seeking cycle over and over again…continually looking outward to foster or create connections. These connections may be superficial but it’s all an attempt to connect to something…anything…so we don’t feel alone.
But where does this sense of aloneness come from? Why is it so pervasive? It can happen if you are in a relationship, in a family or even living with a lot of people. A sense of aloneness and isolation is an internal experience, and possibly an inability to connect to something greater than ourselves. Part of the aloneness can come from a misunderstanding of connection, and that we must connect with people to feel not alone. However that is not true. You can feel connected to nature, animals, spirituality, learning, sports, hobbies, volunteering…all kinds of things. Our source of connection does not and should not mostly come from being online for our happiness. Or even from other people.
Connecting to a sense of something greater than yourself that you can always access is important. Practices like yoga and mindfulness meditation are useful for getting us to that space more quickly.
Notice what you are connecting to and how you are feeling connected. If you just navigate how you create connection on autopilot you may end up going in a direction that’s not great for you in the long term.